


All’s Fair in Love and Basketball

by janonny



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Comedy, Humor, M/M, Romantic Comedy, Sports Injury, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:21:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22435573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janonny/pseuds/janonny
Summary: Tony is hiding in his workshop and his teammates are hassling him with text messages after a game of basketball with Steve goes wrong. Can’t a bunch of superheroes let a fellow superhero lick his injured pride in peace?
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 20
Kudos: 335
Collections: POTS (18+) Stony Stocking 2019





	All’s Fair in Love and Basketball

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Orange_Coyote](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orange_Coyote/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [Orange_Coyote](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orange_Coyote/pseuds/Orange_Coyote) in the [stony_stocking_2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/stony_stocking_2019) collection. 



> This is for orange_coyote's prompt: _dorks in denial, sports accident, or texting shenanigans_
> 
> Hope you like it! :D
> 
> All the appreciation and gratitude to [Coaster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coaster) for being such an amazing beta reader! ❤️

Captain Dorito: I’m sorry.

_ Me: shut up _

Captain Dorito: I’m really sorry.

-

Hawkass: hes really sorry 

_ Me: shut up _

Hawkass: cant you come up and talk to him so he stops moping

_ Me: what did the apostrophe ever do to you? _

Hawkass: its broken on my phone

_ Me: YOUR PHONE IS A TOUCH SCREEN _

Hawkass: i know i dunno how it happens

Hawkass: whats your excuse

Hawkass: you narrate your messages to friday and you still don’t have captals

_ Me: it’s my style _

Hawkass: im judging you

_ Me: you can’t judge anyone  _

-

Red Alert: Why basketball?

_ Me: really? that’s what you want to know? _

Red Alert: Is this how old people flirt nowadays?

_ Me: bye nat, blocking you forever  _

-

Captain Dorito: Can I bring you a bag of frozen peas?

_ Me: why?  _

Captain Dorito: It’s for your eye

_ Me: i’ve put ice on it _

Captain Dorito: Oh.

Captain Dorito: Is it better now?

_ Me: no _

-

Rhodey Honeybee: Why is Captain America asking me to come over to examine your eye?

_ Me: jfc that idiot _

Rhodey Honeybee: What did he do to you? Do I need to bury a supersoldier? 

_ Me: are you nuts, it’s captain america _

Rhodey Honeybee: So? I can take him.

_ Me: i know you can _

_ Me: i mean it’s captain america what do you think he would do to anyone? _

Rhodey Honeybee: Uh huh. So why do I have to examine your eye?

_ Me: it’s nothing he’s overreacting _

Rhodey Honeybee: I could always ask Nat

_ Me: i hate all of you _

Rhodey Honeybee: I’m calling her now.

_ Me: we were playing basketball and he accidentally elbowed me in the eye, that’s all _

Rhodey Honeybee: How bad is it?

_ Me: got a cool shiner. the ladies like a bad boy _

Rhodey Honeybee: Oh, is ‘the ladies’ your new nickname for Steve?

_ Me: i’m blocking all of you _

-

_ Me: why did you tell rhodey??? _

Captain Dorito: I was worried about you.

_ Me: i’m not that fragile _

_ Me: i can take care of myself _

Captain Dorito: I know.

_ Me: do you really?  _

Captain Dorito: More than you know. 

_ Me: i don’t know what this cryptic bullshit means _

-

Red Alert: I watched the footage of your basketball match with Steve

Red Alert: I didn’t know 1-on-1 basketball could involve so much contact

Red Alert: No wonder he elbowed you in the eye. You guys were practically wrestling for the ball

Red Alert: Although if you were taller, it probably wouldn’t have happened

_ Me: are you calling me short?? _

Red Alert: Yes

_ Me: you’re tiny _

Red Alert: But I don’t care if you call me short

Red Alert: When are you guys going to stop flirting through stupid activities? No one flirts through basketball. It’s not normal.

Red Alert: And if either of you were any good at basketball, no one would get a black eye out of it

_ Me: we weren’t flirting _

_ Me: and i’m fantastic at basketball _

Red Alert: Your black eye can attest to that

_ Me: it’s cause i’m passionate about basketball. we were competitive _

Red Alert: You’re passionate about Steve’s arms when he’s wearing a tanktop to play basketball

_ Me: i don’t know what you’re talking about _

Red Alert: And he’s passionate about your ass in tiny shorts. Those shorts were so shamelessly tiny, Stark. No wonder he elbowed you in the eye, he couldn’t stop staring at your ass and thighs.

_ Me: i wish that was true [deleted] _

-

_ Me: were you distracted by my ass in tiny shorts? fyi, i have shorts tinier than that. [deleted] _

-

Smol Red Birb: You’re making Captain America sulk. That’s gotta be against the constitution.

_ Me: why does everyone think i’m making him sulk? maybe he’s sulking over something else _

Smol Red Birb: He’s going around saying ‘I wonder if Tony is okay’ and ‘this is all my fault’. 

Smol Red Birb: Unless there’s another Tony around, it’s about you.

_ Me: he’s a fusspot _

Smol Red Birb: Is this a joke?

_ Me: what? _

Smol Red Birb: Steve? Is a fusspot? Have you seen him after training? After paintball?

_ Me: i usually skip training. i was busy adulting instead of going for paintball _

Smol Red Birb: You just don’t like losing so you made up some business meeting.

_ Me: it was a shareholders meeting! _

Smol Red Birb: As if as you go to those.

_ Me: okay...point _

Smol Red Birb: Steve told me to walk off a twisted ankle.

Smol Red Birb: He told Clint to stop being a baby over this gigantic bruise on his thigh from paintball. The bruise covered half his thigh from where Nat shot him five times in a row. 

_ Me: ow _

_ Me: that’s why i don’t go to paintball, nat is vicious _

Smol Red Birb: She likes to win. Steve likes to win too.

Smol Red Birb: Nat showed me your basketball game with Steve. I’ve never seen Steve play any game with no intention to win until that moment.

_ Me: he was trying to win! _

Smol Red Birb: Please. You weren’t trying to win either. That game was an insult to basketball games around the world. 

_ Me: if he’s not a fusspot, then why does he keep bugging me about my eye? _

Smol Red Birb: Aren’t you a genius or something? 

Smol Red Birb: Use that big brain to solve the great mystery.

-

Captain Dorito: I left food outside your lab door.

_ Me: you cooked? is this a poisoning attempt? _

Captain Dorito: I ordered pizza.

_ Me: what, then why didn’t you bring it in? _

Captain Dorito: I thought you didn’t want to see me. 

Captain Dorito: You haven’t been out of your workshop for 2 days.

_ Me: i don’t want other people to see me.  _

_ Me: look, i don’t blame you for what happened. i was just embarrassed, okay? _

Captain Dorito: You should blame me, it was my fault. 

_ Me: ohmygod, it was an accident. if i wasn’t so distracted, you wouldn’t have elbowed me in the eye _

Captain Dorito: Wait, what distracted you?

_ Me: never mind about that. sam said you’re super competitive and told him to walk off a twisted ankle _

_ Me: why are you so worried about my eye? _

Captain Dorito: It’s different. 

_ Me: you think i’m fragile? sam is just a plain ole regular human too. he doesn’t need protecting, why do i? _

Captain Dorito: I don’t think you need protecting. I’ve never treated you as fragile in the field, have I?

_ Me: then why is this different? _

Captain Dorito: Because we were meant to be having fun but instead I elbowed you in the face just because I was too distracted. Because it was my fault. It could have been avoided. 

_ Me: what were you distracted by? _

Captain Dorito: What were YOU distracted by?

_ Me: we both say it in three seconds  _

Captain Dorito: I’m not sure, Tony

_ Me: count of three. starting now  _

…

Captain Dorito: I was distracted by your ass in your shorts. 

…

Captain Dorito: You didn’t say what you were distracted by!

_ Me: Sorry, I cheated.  _

_ Me: But yeah, I was distracted by your biceps and shoulders.  _

Captain Dorito: Tony, you’re using capital letters. 

_ Me: That’s what you’re responding to?  _

Captain Dorito: I’ve never seen you use capital letters. 

_ Me: I’m typing instead of dictating to Friday and I forgot to turn off autocorrect okay? _

Captain Dorito: You said autocorrect was for losers.

_ Me: Do you really want to be focusing on this? Right now, right this moment? _

Captain Dorito: Not really, I was just buying time to process that you were distracted by my biceps and shoulders. 

_ Me: And you were distracted by my ass in my shorts. _

Captain Dorito: So is it just my biceps and my shoulders or is there something else...

_ Me: Maybe also your forearms and your stupid swoopy hair and your ridiculous blue eyes _

Captain Dorito: So it’s my looks.

_ Me: And your idealism and annoying righteousness and stubbornness and nobility and wry sense of humor and misplaced sense of insecurity that I’m just discovering it seems. _

…

_ Me: say something _

Captain Dorito: Sorry, just busy grinning like an idiot at my phone

_ Me: so...is it just the shorts? that distracts you? _

Captain Dorito: The shorts were pretty short. 

Captain Dorito: And there’s your smell

_ Me: you’re saying i’m smelly _

Captain Dorito: I love the scent of your sweat. and I can’t look away from your eyes when you’re excited or when you’re teasing me. You’re so sharp I think I’ll bleed if I get too close sometimes but I can’t stay away. 

_ Me: you’ve got a way with words _

Captain Dorito: Only when it’s about you.

_ Me: you know those shorts?  _

_ Me: i’ve got shorter shorts in the workshop. wanna see?  _

Captain Dorito: You’ve got an even better way with words. 

Captain Dorito: ETA 20 secs.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like the fic, you can reblog it [here](https://awesomelifechoices.tumblr.com/post/190624727978/fic-alls-fair-in-love-and-basketball)!


End file.
